Archive for category gay

Thank you, Gavin Newsom

My brother exited the mayor’s office and the first words out of his mouth were, “He’s a good-looking guy.” Yes, my brother has a man-crush on Gavin Newsom. Why? I think it has a lot to do with the fact that the mayor just married me and Shelly, my partner of 17 years.

Rather than getting married on the balcony overlooking the rotunda at City Hall, which is what we did four years ago, Shelly thought it would be cool to get the guy that started it all to marry us. And she did. Because that’s what she does best.

And along with my brother, my parents, Shelly’s mom and sister, our good friends Renee and Cindy, and my pregnant cousin and her husband, we got married in the best place you could be married right now in California.

May the ignorant fools of this state open their eyes and vote No on the anti-marriage proposition in November. Here’s hoping too that this prop doesn’t make it to the ballot.

We’ve been married a few weeks now and things are still going great. Yes, third time’s the charm.

Here’s all the evidence you need to prove that: 1) Gavin was there, 2) we are short, and 3) this really did happen. Great photo by swert!

Shelly, Gavin, Kathy

Shelly, Gavin, Kathy



The history of marriage

Fourteen years ago – March 1, 1995 – on Ke’e Beach in Kauai, Shelly and I got married … for the first time. On June 25 of that year we had a party to celebrate that momentous occasion. We had about 60 friends and family at our house and it was 105 degrees in our backyard. We will never forget any of it.

Flash forward to March 1, 2004. SF Mayor Gavin Newsom had declared the existing law around marriage unconstitutional, and so on this day, Shelly and I got married again, the ninth anniversary of our original vows, at City Hall. We were lucky enough to be one of nearly 4,000 couples to get licenses before the state shut it down. My parents were witnesses and our friends Renee and Cindy were there cheering us on. Apparently the second time was not the charm and the state nullified all of these marriages. We still have all the official documents though and our picture ran in the Oakland Tribune.

Which brings me to today. The California Supreme Court, following in the footsteps of Massachusetts, ruled yesterday that the existing law declaring marriage between a man and a woman is unconstitutional.

So, here we go again. We could wait until next March to renew our vows for the third time in San Francisco or we can seize the moment and in solidarity with our sisters and brothers, get married now. There’s a chance that the haters will get a measure onto the November ballot to erase the gains the court has made.

What did we decide? See you at City Hall on June 25. Third time’s the charm?

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Hello Houston

I cannot think of a better way to kick off this blog than with a travel-related post. Don’t worry, as this blog takes shape it will have more of a focus. Until then, things are going to be a bit random.

So, Shelly and I have done our fair share of traveling: England – twice, France – once, Thailand – once (so far), Mexico – once, and so on. Needless to say we have exited and entered the US of A on a number of occasions.

Imagine our surprise when we discovered on the way back from Mexico that entering the U.S. through Customs in Houston, Texas turned out to be the worst customs experience ever.

We were literally rushing from all points of our Houston “layover” because our plane from Cancun was late and our plane to SF was already boarding. (It sure didn’t help when our airline agent told us to rush when we grabbed our bags.)

We moved through the long line of people, Shelly clutching our filled out form – one form per person or one form per family. Our friends get called to the station next to us and quickly make it through. We get to our station and the agent refuses us as a couple and our filled-out form by stating that we are not a family, not brothers or sisters or what have you. No amount of arguing would suffice for this puffed up wannabe CHiPs agent with the first name of Van. He ordered me back behind the yellow line to fill out my form, as he lets Shelly and others go through, and then had the audacity to scrutinize my form with twisted glee. To say he was an asshole is an understatement.

Did I mention that the Houston airport is called Bush International?

Welcome home.

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